5 days ago
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
ANY SUGGESTIONS?
So I need some help. As most of you know Jones is in Kindergarten this year. He hasn't exactly loved it but he has been fine with going every day. Well out of the blue last week he decided he hated it. I took him in crying because he didn't want to go but I got him to stay. Well 3 days later he did it again, he started crying on the way in and then as soon as I left his classroom he ran out sobbing . I ended up staying for 45 minutes before he calmed down enough to stay by himself. When he got home we had a big talk with him and could not figure out why he didn't want to go other than he didn't like it. So since the big talk he has been fine, until today. As soon as he started getting ready for school the tears started coming. Fortunately I didn't end up staying as long this time but I did have to force him to stay and I had to promise him that after I took Jaimin to school I would come back and sit with him. I ended up going back about an hour later and he said he was fine and I could go home. I don't know what to do, I have talked to his teacher and she is oblivious to anything, the counselor said he would keep an eye on him, and I have tried many different bribes. Has anyone had this problem with any of your kids? If anyone has any suggestions or ideas to what could be wrong or what we can do about it, PLEASE let me know, it breaks my heart that he gets so upset about it. By the way his teacher does nothing to help, she just stands there and looks at me fighting with him, is this normal for a teacher?
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5 comments:
Hey, That sounds so sad:( Im sorry your having to deal with that. Jack starts kindergarten in the fall and im so worried about everything! I actually asked Brandon what he would do if we had that problem, and he came up with some ideas that might help. (pardon the long response) He suggested that you might find out what the curriculum will be for the next few days, and then prepare jones for it by teaching him about it at home, then get him all excited that he knows what they are learning about and that might make him less intimidated and uncomfortable. You could also see if you could single out a kid in his class you think he might be able to develop a friendship with and invite that kid over a few times during the week so they could solidify a friendship. having someone he is really comfortable with might help him relax as well. The other thing you could try is a little more drastic, but may work, you could have him stay home a day and make it pretty boring and miserable and see if he doesnt think school is more fun than staying home.
I'm not claiming to have any knowledge or experience here, but these may help. I sure hope it gets better from here on out. good luck!
This has been my experience. Usually the reason a child doesn't want to go to school is because of negative interaction with their peers. It's not as drastic as bullying, just someone who makes the child feel vulnerable.
As far as the teacher is concerned, some are better able to handle a situation like this than others. She may just plain not know what to do to help.
Also, and I don't know if this will help, Mark didn't want to go to school every single day untl he got to middle school. He didn't cry, he would just drag his feet as he got ready and ask every morning if he really had to go. I think it helped that the older three siblings were going to school too.
I think Jones just needs to feel safe. Maybe his classroom is too open and free and there is not the structure that he is used to and thrives on.
Just my 2 cents......
Mom
thanks for all the ideas. i really liked brandons idea of getting him excited for the next few days. as far as friends go he has a ton, he plays with them at least once a week. and when i take him in crying he has a ton that comes over to try and help him. anyway thanks again, Casey
I'm SO sorry Casey! I have a few kindergarten (I forgot that Luke and Jones were the same age) problems myself...life was so much easier when I had him home to myself!!!! When women complain about how difficult it is to have a baby/toddler I seriously want to tell them to Enjoy it now...because it gets more and more difficult and confusing! Once there in school there is just so much you don't have control over and you totally feel helpless! Luke isn't enjoying school very much and I think there's a bit of teasing going on....it makes me want to cry! :( What can you do!?!?!
It's been a while since your post so hopefully you have it all figured out by now.
This happened with my daughter, Alexandra in the 2nd grade. There were even few instances where it seemed as though she was having a panic attack when I attempted to send her off to school. It was very upsetting for both her and I.
As it ended up, She was being bullied by another girl in her class. Her teacher really did nothing to help (the most I know of her teacher ever doing about it was to tell Alexandra to stay away from this "bully"). It was here first year ever as a teacher and she didn't return the next. When I look back at it, it still makes me so angry with this teacher. I didn't realize the impact on Alexandra until it was too late. It really hurt her self esteem, and also decreased her learning level for about a year.
If you are still having difficulties with your son, I suggest you continue to "pry" to see what is going on. I also strongly suggest you speak with or get him into the school counselor. That is what helped us the most.
Good luck!
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